Ok, so it happened after noon, but I wasn't done with my first cup of coffee, so whatever...
Two weeks ago, I received an automatic notice about a new moderated message to my FlyingWithFibro group. That's nothing unusual; all new members are moderated until they post, so we can keep spammers out. The message says,
"hi I found a good free site that can help with everyday life-site by someone with fibro since 1999 as they share tips & info that has worked for them. Please email me if you want the weblink as I hope it helps you!"
Sounds like spam, right? Even if it's not, it's just poor netiquette to ask people to email you in your very first post, AND it's not really on topic anyway, because the group is about tweaking Flylady while you have a chronic illness - something they would know if they had READ the intro paragraph. But, I'm feeling generous, so I reply with,
"I'm rejecting this post, because it sounds awfully like spam. If it is not, I apologize. If you have something to share, please feel free to share it with the group by sending a link, and possibly a small snippet of the article. This list is meant as a discussion site, however, so it's not appropriate to immediately start asking people to email you off list. Feel free to change your introduction post and resend it."
Not bad, I thought. Gave them an out if they're not a spammer, whatever. So instead of sending a new, on-topic post, or leaving the group, I get THIS back,
"It's not a spam it's a website how someone is living with fibro since 1999 but however you feel is up to you my calling from God is to help others with fibro no matter what anyone thinks and I don't need to spam anyone to do it. You can remove me from your group their are a lot better fibro groups out their that God has put me in touch with and right people to help as I really don't care do defend myself to anyone here on earth so best of luck to your group I hope they are getting help and keep going on with their fibro and your group makes a diffrence to someone!"
Umm...ok. Your faith has WHAT to do with my expressly non-religious group? Oh, and insulting my group size, THAT's real mature and a way to get yourself listened to. At this point, I'm up for a good argument,
"Next time, send the website, don't ask people to email you for it. That sounds like you're harvesting emails. I'm merely protecting my list members. There's too many people trying to make a buck off those who are ill, and so I am cautious.
As for your religious calling, it is irrelevant to our group. The group you subscribed to is about using Flylady.net while ill with such things as fibro, cfs, me, lupus, etc. If you wish to participate, feel free, but keep the topic in mind. It's not a general support group; it has a more narrow focus."
No answer, so I figure that's it for now. He doesn't unsubscribe, so maybe he'll join in on the real topic. Whatever. Then this morning I get another moderated message alert, and it's from him again,
"HELPFUL TIPS LIVING WITH FIBRO BLOG
PLEASE CLICK LINKS PAGE & CHECK IT OUT"
ARGH! Oh, and he's got a link to his site in our carefully constructed links section. So I check out his blog. Eh, more broken English "advice" on living with fibro. Could be useful, I suppose, but he's still not joining in discussion, just trying to get traffic to his site, the one with google ads on it...So, no. Reject and I'm done with this guy,
"Still spamming your site instead of joining in the discussion, or even, *gasp* reading what the group is about. You're banned..."
Amazingly, he replies again, with MORE stuff about his faith...
"With my trust in GOD my site will be huge to help others with fibro as I have no trust in humans! Fibro is not to just talk about on small group site more then 6 million suffer from USA !"
He just doesn't get it, does he? I don't CARE about his religious beliefs. I care about him being freakin off topic! And my "small group" is 300+ messages. Meh. Last word from me, because I'm CRANKY,
"Fine. Complain to God then. Because I don't care.
Our group has rules and a topic, and you obviously think you're too good to follow them. Belief in God does not let you ignore rules on earth. Deal with it.
You're banned and that's the end of the discussion. Further discussion will be considered harassment and reported to yahoo."
Why, oh, why do people think I even care about their faith, never mind that it's at all relevant to the discussion at hand?!? I hate that attitude. Our group has multiple faiths, and somehow we all get along. It's important to some, and it's reflected in their actions, and that's cool. Beyond that, though, it's just a non-issue. Sheesh. I run a private group. You have to make me want you in it. This exchange? Not the way to do it.
Posted at 01:40 pm by Allura
